Central City Concern

Providing comprehensive solutions to ending homelessness and achieving self-sufficiency.

"My battle with addiction and ADHD"

Jul 25, 2017

Babs, a patient of Central City Concern's Old Town Recovery Center (OTRC), approached us earlier this year with a story to tell. Her story to tell.  And with the help of Dr. Brent Beenders, a former OHSU psychiatry resident at OTRC, she wrote it out. We're grateful that Babs is a part of our CCC community and honored that she asked us to help share her journey.

• • •

My name is Babs. This is my story about battling addiction.

I've been an addict of methamphetamines and heroin for many years. I’ve experienced numerous periods of sobriety and relapse. NA meetings, SMART Recovery meetings, and various types of therapy provided me some, but not sustained, relief.

To fully appreciate my story we need to begin with my birth. I was born in 1960. I had various injuries during my birth. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and my hand was pressed into my skull causing a compressed skull fracture. I am convinced that I was trying to get the cord from around my neck, thus causing my brain injury.

Not that this was enough, but my mother was addicted to alcohol, heroin, and barbiturates before and during her pregnancy with me. My mother’s attempted suicide while I was in the womb also may have been significant in my early development. I had seizures starting from birth. This combination of traumatic brain injury, seizures, and being born addicted to heroin and barbiturates set me up for a lifetime of frustration, fits of anger, anxiety, depression, cognitive difficulties, and severe attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder. Eventually I developed addictions to substances.

I had severe ADHD from a very young age which caused me difficulty in school; I was unable to sit still and could not concentrate on my work or comprehend what was taught. My symptoms were severe enough that I had to repeat the second grade; this was disruptive in that I lost my first group of friends. Finally, I was treated for my ADHD. This improved my hyperactivity, attention, and ability to focus. Despite learning disabilities, finally I was able to progress through several grades. Unfortunately, my doctors at the time thought that ADHD would resolve with puberty, so my medication was discontinued at age 12. I was able to struggle only through the first half of my sophomore year of high school after which I dropped out.

Three months after discontinuing my ADHD medicine was my first experience with street drugs. With the exception of a few brief periods of sobriety, I used illegal drugs daily for many years. I primarily used methamphetamine, but I also used heroin. My brain and body did not seem to know the difference between these different drugs. Without my ADHD medications, I found it near-impossible to use basic survival or coping tools. What the drugs did for me was provide brief relief from the chaos I was experiencing inside.

From the beginning of these years of drug use, I experienced numerous, deep physical and emotional traumas. The resulting PTSD further deepened my addictions and resulted in further personal turmoil. While there were many reasons for my turn to drugs, one important reason that I’ve come to realize is my untreated ADHD. With untreated ADHD, impulsivity ran rampant. ADHD, coupled with a naïve young adolescent brain, contributed to my drug use and other choices that resulted in years of intense victimization and abuse.

The key to breaking free from this cycle of drug abuse and trauma was getting adequate treatment for my ADHD. Given years of amphetamine abuse and sporadic use, finding a provider that would treat this disorder adequately was difficult—almost impossible—despite such an extensive record of my historical diagnosis and past treatment. I tried various treatment strategies recommended by various doctors over the years to address mood and anxiety, which were decidedly dysregulated. These included various antidepressants and antipsychotic medications; this treatment left me with even more severe depression and prone to fits of anger.

Though I had been a patient of Central City Concern’s Old Town Recovery Center years ago, I was getting increasingly desperate for help with my ADHD and how chaotic it made my life, so I decided to reestablish myself as a patient. Working with a psychiatric doctor, we found a medication that could be of immense help and would balance the chemicals in my brain, helping me focus, stay calm, regulate my emotions, and regain control of my life. But there was a big catch: I needed to show that I could be alcohol and drug free in order be given a prescription.

The doctor at Old Town Recovery Center—who, thankfully, understood how brain injuries, trauma, and addiction all affect each other—told me that if I could get alcohol and drug free, we could get started on medication. Ironically, without the right medication, sobriety sounded impossible. And given my current condition and my history of substance use, I was terrified that this was just turning out to be another dead end.

But something special happened: my doctor told me that she believed in me and my ability to get and stay in recovery. She saw that I needed it and that I wanted to regain control of my life. She not only saw the strength inside me, but the supports I could get outside myself.

During the time that I had to show I could get into and stay in recovery, I leaned heavily on the Old Town Recovery Center Living Room program, where a group of peers—each managing their own addiction and mental illness each day—helped me stay on the path of recovery. I learned how to sit in my discomfort and doubts, to embrace them.

Finally, in June 2015, we started the medication. It immediately calmed my thoughts and motor behavior. This allowed me to relearn how to focus on tasks, it provided me with motivation to accomplish tasks, and it allowed for me to sleep more regularly and soundly.

Most importantly it has allowed for me to remain in recovery. For so many years I was utilizing amphetamines and other drugs to try to help regulate my emotions, soothe my anxiety, and even allow me to sleep. With adequate treatment and continued recovery, I feel like I have now been able to finally “grow up.”

Even my interests have shifted. I’ve been on the board of a community health center and was able to help initiate a needle depository program for the City of Portland; among the many benefits of this, important to me is maintaining a clean public environment. I was also able to get some health issues addressed. I needed surgery on my neck and no surgeon was willing to operate on me because of my addictions. After my surgery, the sensations, strength, and dexterity in my hands all improved. I have been able to complete classes to become a certified peer support specialist. Now I can help others who are struggling with similar issues.

Recovery is a unique process for each individual, and I could not hope to elaborate on every step along the way. Here, I hope to have provided a sufficient overview to understand my recovery and the importance of treatment for ADHD.

Acknowledgments: In order to accomplish writing this article I utilized the help of Brent Beenders, MD, a psychiatry resident to help focus my thoughts and polish my prose. I would like to thank everyone who has helped me in my recovery.

I dedicate this to all the addicts out there who are still struggling.



"I can’t believe I get to move in here..."

Jul 13, 2017

On a perfect sunny July afternoon in Southwest Portland’s Lair Hill neighborhood, several dozen people gathered in the parking lot of Hill Park Apartments to drink iced coffee and celebrate the new building’s grand opening.

Soon-to-be resident Kellie Knight cut the ceremonial ribbon after sharing her story. “I don’t even have words right now,” she told the crowd. “I can’t believe I get to move in here and have some place that I can call home.” Kellie was addicted to drugs and in and out of prison for most of her life until she came to Central City Concern (CCC) in 2015. She now has full-time permanent employment and, for the first time, her own apartment.

CCC, Portland’s nonprofit serving people impacted by homelessness, poverty and addictions since 1979, opened the 39-unit housing building on July 11. It’s a three-story building on the edge of Portland’s southwest downtown area, close to transportation, parks and shopping. It will include supportive services for the residents of eight units that will be home to people living with mental illness. The apartments are spacious with ceiling fans and natural wood accents. The Earth Advantage-certified building is energy efficient with solar panels.

“We understand that downtown belongs to everybody. If we’re going to have a healthy downtown, we need it to reflect a certain set of values. Those values turn into people and those people turn into a diverse city that we can be proud of,” said Ed Blackburn, CCC’s president and CEO. “This building is adding to that.”

Mayor Ted Wheeler was there as well. “This is a community effort, one that we can all be proud of,” he said. “In my opinion, this represents one of the great ways this city comes together to help some of the most vulnerable people in our community get back on their feet.”

Commissioner Dan Saltzman shared that his family had moved into the Lair Hill neighborhood in the 1920s when it was predominantly occupied by Italian and Jewish immigrants. “This has always been a vibrant neighborhood,” Saltzman said. “I hope that these Hill Park Apartments will be as good to its residents as this area has been to my family.”

Multnomah County Chair Deborah Kafoury explained how the eight residents managing mental illness are receiving and will continue to receive appropriate support from CCC’s behavioral health staff. These residents are engaged with Central City Concern’s outpatient behavioral health program—the Old Town Recovery Center—where they receive many services and will have access to CCC’s proven integrated care models. They will also be empowered and supported in carving their path to self-sufficiency. “We know that by connecting people to the resources that they need they can overcome barriers and truly change their lives,” she said. “However, without housing there is no healing. Housing is indeed health care.”

Other speakers at the grand opening included Sean Hubert, CCC’s chief housing and employment officer; Rachel Solotaroff, CCC’s chief medical officer; Jeri Young from US Bank and Margaret Salazar from Oregon Housing and Community Services.

     

Hill Park Apartments has 39 units: 17 studio and 22 one-bedroom. Major contributors include US Bank, Portland Housing Bureau, Oregon Housing and Community Services, Oregon Health Authority, Home Forward, Providence Health & Services, and Energy Trust of Oregon. Further, Steven Stone and Elana Stone Anderson of BedMart teamed up with Tempur-Pedic Mattresses to donate 30 mattresses for the incoming residents; the donation was facilitated by CCC's longtime partner, Community Warehouse.

The architect is Carleton Hart Architecture and the general contractor is Colas Construction, Inc.



Monthly Volunteer Spotlight: June 2017 Edition

Jun 30, 2017

For June’s monthly volunteer spotlight, we sat down to talk with Malinda Moore, whose energy and zeal for service have already made her a big part of the team at the Old Town Clinic. Read on to hear about how she got involved with CCC and what keeps her coming back as a volunteer.

• • •

Peter: What is your name and volunteer position?

Malinda: Concierge at Old Town Clinic, or as some of the clients say, you must not have made it in to the greeters at Walmart or the Home Depot!

P: Oh no!

M: No! They say it affectionately, especially the clients that recognize that you’re there more often. They remember people.

P: You’ve been there for how long now?

M: Since around Christmas of last year.

P: I’m sure you’ve become a familiar face for folks at the clinic.

M: You hope so. Every day is different. Some days there may be someone who needs a little extra arm around the shoulder and help to stay calm. Other days there are people who just need someone to say hi, or just do something that they don’t expect, like open the door before they get a chance to push the button. I can get out there and get that door open before the patient can. It’s just fun to see the look on people’s faces when someone is nice to them because they’re next to them.

P: That’s probably not something some of our clients see too often, is someone going the extra mile for them.

M: Exactly, and they deserve it as much as anyone does. That’s one of the most fun parts about it.

P: Is there anything that is challenging about it?

M: I don’t have many challenges there. When you’re there observing, the front line people treat every one of those clients like it’s the governor or the mayor. And they remember their names! I can’t believe how many people come in every day and before they step in the door it’s like, “Hi, such and such, how are you doing?” The staff treat them and they treat each other with that same respect. And the clients treat each other with respect. They’ll take time to listen to each other and help each other out. They’re very compassionate with each other. It’s very uplifting to see these people be so compassionate and be working so hard to be doing what they need to do get better.

P: Have you had a particular moment stick out in the time that you’ve been volunteering?

M: There was one woman who came who was having a mental health crisis, and she wasn’t a client, but staff was working really hard to find how best to help her. When staff would leave, I would just sit with her and she had her head in her hands, but once I started talked to her she would put her head up and we would look at pictures of her dog, her boyfriend, and we had great conversations. It was nice to see that I didn’t have to be doing anything medical for her, just sitting there having a friend was good enough to make her feel better. Then you get to meet people that have such varied backgrounds and skills and they’re just such interesting people! There’s nothing big, but every day I come back and say to my husband, “Guess what? I had the best time talking to this person!”

P: Is that what keeps you coming back to volunteer?

M: Yes! I may go two days a week! I really look forward to it. I used to really look forward to going to work every day, so this is this same feeling, like, I get to go to work! And be with people I like to be with.

P: That’s a great feeling.

M: I’m very lucky.

P: And what is your background?

M: I was a medical speech pathologist, so I worked in inpatient, outpatient, home health, hospice, ICU. I got to do all of those. It was that kind of hospital where everybody talked to everybody. You could meet the doctor in the hallway and he’d want t know what you thought about his patient. There wasn’t this hierarchy. It was a great place to work. I get some of that same feeling from the Old Town Clinic. You just watch all these people at OTC and there’s just so much collaboration, it could be a role model for any clinic in the state. It’s not just a job there. The minute someone walks in the door someone want to help them.

P: What got you involved with CCC?

M: Oh, this is a great story! My husband, who is a retired attorney, pours wine in a winery in Albany and he got to talking to a woman at the winery, who happened to be a CCC employee and he came home that day and said, “We’re going to start donating to Central City Concern!” It was just like that. He was so impressed with what she told him. And then when we moved to Portland, I decided this is where I’d like to spend some time. So that’s where it started, the winery!

P: What do you think someone who is on the fence might want to know?

M: I think, no matter what they did, if it was something they thought they might like, they’re going to be treated really well. People are going to go out of their way to help them feel comfortable and they’re going to be appreciated. If I show up on a day I don’t normally volunteer, they’ll be like, ‘Aren’t you usually here on Wednesday?’

• • •

If you are interested in learning more about volunteer positions in at Central City Concern’s health and recovery, housing, or employment programs, contact Peter Russell, CCC’s Volunteer Manager, at peter.russell@ccconcern.org or visit our volunteer webpage.



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2016 Annual Report

Download Central City Concern's 2016 Annual Report to find out about the transformative impacts our housing, health care, and employment programs made last year. Learn more »

2017 Compassion in Action

Join CCC on October 10 for our annual luncheon to celebrate all that is possible when community members work together to bring lasting change to people in need. Learn more »